There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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