Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize