my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
