I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
