we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
