i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
