...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
