I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
