she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
