Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
