dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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