i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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