and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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