oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His hands were made for my vagina.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
