i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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