I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
