im having a threesome with these popsicles
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
