He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
