I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
