Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
