so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
