so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
