hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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