If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
