hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
