You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
