They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
