And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
