I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
