Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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