We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How does one acquire holy water?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
