btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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