spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
someone owes me an orgasm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You need Xanax blowdarts
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
