I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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