Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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