Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
