ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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