Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
