Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
