I think my vagina is haunted
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
