if i can run in heels then i can drive
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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