I think I died a long time ago.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
