Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
