I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
