i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
