So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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