she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
