There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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