you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
