Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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