wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
