If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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