smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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