then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
