I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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