I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
