Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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