I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
